“If a Mother in Heaven has a recipe for joy,
I know you will learn to make it.
If a Mother in Heaven knows a tincture for grief,
send it to us soon.”
Just saying the word feels so surreal. Death. It is difficult to understand why and to find peace in the inevitable. But find peace I must, in order to move forward and become the changed woman I crave.
Death acts like an acetylene torch in the refiner’s fire, burning away impurities and giving those left behind the chance to start over, to make new decisions and come to a greater understanding of God’s true love for us.
There have been many tributes written for dear Briana– so many that it seems that what I have to say will go unnoticed, or has already been said. I wanted to share with you a few things about Briana in the hopes that you would catch a glimpse of who she was. I have read each of these tributes and watched these videos describing her and the story of the accident. I have attended the celebration of her life. (Hardly a funeral.) And been thrilled to know that a Scholarship Fund has been established in her name at MCU Yet, my thoughts are uncharacteristically unable to flow freely. Honestly, I don’t think there is much else I can say except that my heart is broken and peaceful all at the same time. Her life was one of peace, love, devoted service and passion. It is because of Love that she even existed, and it will be because of Love that we will all carry on.
“Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love. Everything is united by it alone. Love is God, and to die means that I, a particle of love, shall return to the general and eternal source.”
The birthing community is a tightly knit one. And I am so honored to be a part of this sacred network of women. I grieve for the loss that this community feels; for the Mamas she left behind. And all in the same breath I celebrate the motivation that Bri’s life has instilled in me in my callings in life.
I certainly have had opportunity to come through on my promise to Him. And I’m sure that I have done my best to be there for people in my life as events have unfolded. But this. This time it feels different. This time I can see His hand in it all. This time I can see how he has hand picked my friends. I can see how we all are playing in integral part in each others’ lives. I know that I am being used for good for those who are struggling with this difficult time. And I am so grateful for that. On the other hand, I see how certain people have been placed in my life for right now.
Because I need comfort too.
I know that He really does know me and understands, even anticipates, my needs. What a miracle. What a comforting, peaceful thought.
I am so grateful for it all.