I’m about done writing about this damn juice fast. I’m so over it.
I’ll be honest, it made me a bit wacky. Like “midlife crisis” wacky. Okay, okay- it wasn’t just the juice fast. It was me. But I’ll tell you, nothing could have prepared me for the emotional junk that just keeps seeping out of me. I haven’t really come back from it all yet…I feel a little on the melancholy side. And I’ve just been letting myself hang out here for a bit. Because maybe I just need to be here and feel. There is something to learn here, and I’ll take what I can get.
I see just how much power over myself I really do have. I have power to decide to eat, or cleanse, or sleep, or exercise, brush my hair, or put on make-up, or smile, or interact with others…or not. Its all up to me. And what I decide has a lot to do with how I feel. Or rather, the things I do have an affect on my emotional state. Duh, right? Ya.
Going on a juice fast has reminded me of this very thing. Let me explain. When we go about our everyday lives, we do so without much thought. We wake up, eat, shower, get dressed…yada yada- we go through our routines as they unfold. We do what works because it always has. And there is little to disrupt that routine (I use “routine” very broadly), unless we decide to change it. Making a calculated change for 10 days (theoretically), even though it was my choice, threw me for a loop. I know, I know- you get it. It was difficult. But really, I don’t think you will understand unless you do this yourselves and realize just how much your being is used to being a certain way. And then, poof! You change your way of being. I think I may now have a greater appreciation for the pain it must be to come off of a drug, or quitting smoking, or overcoming any addiction. Holy moly! I learned compassion for many people I know who have gone through just that. I feel embarrassed for judging.
It is not just food guys. Its a way of being. And choosing that. Yes, the health benefits of doing any type of cleanse are amazing! Detox, weight loss, clearer skin, better hair, clean bowels (I almost wrote clean bowls…and that would also be true, because you don’t use any!). I now realize that a “cleanse” means the Whole Enchilada- your Body, Mind and Spirit. All things physical, emotional and Mental.
So while I’m now enjoying yummy things like this and my amazing veggie tostadas, my Spirit is still on the repair. I’m still sorting and tossing. Still deciding to get back to a better way of being.
It may take me another ten days.