grounded; cant blow me over
I want to live where the air is clear
I want to grow nourishing food, flower beds under my window.
I want to ride, wind in my hair, charging through a field on the broad back of my steed
I want to teach my children work
I want dirt under my fingernails
I want to sleep sound to the serenade of crickets chirping their wild song
I want to welcome my love home each night, fire in my eyes
I want to be a country girl
For anyone who is interested in exploring birth a little more, may I recommend attending this film festival in American Fork on June 13th. Check out http://doulamelissa.blogspot.com/ for all the details. I’ve embedded the movie trailers here for your viewing pleasure. I’ll be going- so if you’d like to carpool, let me know!
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ” Maybe we should be just friends ” turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
Neil Gaiman
Love is messy. But when you know you’ve got the right one, it’s not so bad cleaning up or being held hostage. Thats the romance of it all. 
The lashes of love have been blinking non-stop, it seems. I am amazed at how much the changes that life brings can expand the love I feel for my family. Its been about two months since we moved out of the cute contemporary compartment in the Avenues and into our more spacious, bright two bedroom apartment. My heart hurts for Hank every now and again, but I know that he is probably happy living in a place where he can play with another dog, and besides, animals tend to move on in situations like this. I should take a lesson from him.
Our new place has given my heart room to grow. Natalie now has her own room where she can sleep in peace in her new crib. She can toss Shadrack, her teddy bear, over-board as often as she likes. He’ll lay there among the tossed binky’s and socks until I come to rescue him, only to be mauled and tossed again. Its a fun game we play. Poor Shadrack; Nat will get good use out of him. My days seem to be going smoother now that everything has a place and I have a happy husband who is excited every day to come home for lunch and enjoy the company of his two girls. We love him to death! The sun shines brilliantly every evening into the west the windows of our third story apartment. I’m pretty sure that it is my favorite thing about living here. And when it does I am reminded of the warm love Heaven has for me. I am warm and safe here.
Our move comes at an opportune time. The new Renaissance of Spring is upon us, a new semester at school has begun, others are moving on in their respective stages of life all around us, and I find myself amid the whirlwind of it all. Its a beautiful thing how each year around the same time, my energies seem to re converge with lost ideas, unfinished projects and forgotten dreams to remind me of the things I really want to focus on in life. The hibernation of winter is over and it is time for being awake for life again. Time for deep breathing and cleansing. Time for growth and sunshine. This is the time of each year that I crave.
I have already made several trips to the local library and stocked up on the books covering the topics I am interested in lately: Organic Gardening, Natural Baby Care, Financial Peace, Self Improvement and more Baby Raising books. I go in spurts of educating myself with books. There has been a drought for the past few months and I am making up for lost time.
I was on a book reading spree last year around this same time. Babies. It was last year, February, that I became a new mother and my family’s life was changed forever. Natalie will always be a reminder of this awesome metamorphosis of life. Fresh. New.
New things are nice. And while the bank account doesn’t always allow for brand spakin‘ things, I will bask in each new “thing” life hands me. Particularly in the life of my daughter. There are so many Firsts that are new to my whole family. The newness of a first word, a first step, a first sip from a straw or first taste of a new food- these things are priceless and require no bank account at all! I will gladly take the Newness of each day with open arms and eagerly await the next!
Next year will come and with its different challenges and beauty. Until then, I will be grateful to be a part of the growing changing world of my family. It truly is an honor.
I know I have written my birth story a few times on both of my blogs, but I recently came across a blog that invited mothers to share their birth stories with other women. I answered that invite by combining the two stories I have written together and I am going to post the “Final Draft” here. This is so that the story is easily linked to from Lindsay’s blog.(Lindsay is my midwife’s daughter who is expecting her second child very soon. )
If you are interested in reading a weeks worth of birth stories that other mothers have submitted to Lindsay, I encourage you to visit her blog and be empowered, shed some tears and explore the beautiful emotions that accompany visiting such memories.
Holly, Christopher and Natalie: Day 1 together, in spirit and in flesh
For as long as can remember, I knew that I would not ever birth in a hospital setting. I am not even sure where the idea came from. It was not like my mother had stories to tell me, or that I had seen some horrific birth somewhere. The notion seemed to be innate in me. I do recall witnessing many animals being born however, and looking back, I remember the peace and calm that was present in those instances. Birthing for those animals was in fact innate, just as it is for us women. Imagine that.
There is so much that has evolved in me to make me feel the way I do about birthing. In the beginning, it had nothing to do with me. I simply did not want anything injected into me that would also affect my baby. I wanted a 100% organic baby, no matter what. I had not thought about how I would deal with the birth. This desire was a springboard that begged the question, “How will I do this?” This led me to many discussions with other mothers who birthed naturally and to many, many books covering the same issue. One of the books I came across in the SLC library was one that changed my entire outlook. It is called “Childbirth Without Fear” by Grantly Dick Read. I was thrown for a loop when I read page after page about the “fear, tension, pain” triangle. Perhaps you have heard of it. Basically, if you eliminate the fear, you relax, and there is little or no pain. I highly recommend anyone read this book first and foremost. In fact, if you read no other book but this one, you will be miles ahead in your birthing experience.
So, that book was a starting point for me. I read many other books and got involved in a hypnobirthing class with my husband. There we learned how to relax and go within during surges (the word “contractions” conjures up negative feelings…) among other things. We listened nightly for about two months to positive affirmations regarding my body’s ability to birth safely and normal. And also that my baby would be strong and healthy and able to perform her task of getting out. I believed every word, and so did Chris.
Looking back, I don’t think it would have mattered who I spoke with or what book I read, or class I took. I just could not put it in my head to have a baby any other way than how I witnessed the animals doing. And what was what was right for me.
I firmly believe, given the time, space and encouragement, women do what I learned in Hypnobirthing naturally. I’ve read of women in Africa and the like who know when it is time, they labor by themselves, they find a quiet secluded spot in the brush, they squat down (not lay down on their backs!), receive their own child and then return to their village, babe in arms. Just like it ain’t no thang! Amazing
*****
I know that you along with others have indeed sacrificed yourself for the sake of your baby during labor. People in my own family have had to have cesarean births because of complications, and if that is not a sacrifice, I don’t what what is! Anyway it occurs, it is still a birth! Many women have died during labor, and for that reason, I know that doctors and hospitals are a god given. What I want to say to you and anyone reading this is that it is a blessing to be able to choose how you want to do things. But choose a birth plan that is not just convenience or the easiest way, because I fear so much can be lost in the way of life lessons by avoiding something that might be hard or difficult. Do it for your baby, and because you know that you will be a changed person with new insights as a mother forever.
I was lucky. Everything went perfectly smooth with my pregnancy. I was in massage therapy school during the course of my pregnancy and received massage about four days a week. I believe that my daughter today is a good natured and happy as she is due to the environment I was in during her growth in the womb. I LOVED being pregnant! I miss it at times still, and look forward to planting another seed to grow there soon.
On February 25th, the day before my due date, my water broke as Chris walked in the door from work around 6pm. I had been home nesting for the past month or so and had made a delicious dinner of spicy teryaki chicken with rice and fresh green beans. I remember that I was strangely calm and relaxed and kept on with getting dinner on the table. Chris was trying to be calm, but I could tell he was freaking out inside. The next few hours would allow the surges of active labor to induce. My contractions were no more than 5 minutes apart right from the get-go, but since I was feeling OK and calm, we stayed home until 9:30pm. I really wanted my toenails painted this bright pink polish I had gotten and so Chris painted them while we relaxed on the couch…waiting. After talking to my midwife a few times throughout the evening, she thought it would be best to make our way down to the birthing center so we would be a little closer than an hour away. Luckily, we made it without incident on the February wintery night. We got to the center, appropriately called Bella Natal, at 10:30pm. I was checked and learned that I was only dilated to 2cm, although my contractions were still about 3 minutes apart. We drove to my grandmothers house in Pleasant Grove to try to get some sleep before the active labor kicked in. Chris was able to get some sleep, while I was up pacing, trying to relax in the shower, laying down, and pacing again, ALL night…again, surges came about every 3 minutes, so it was impossible to sleep. This was seriously the hardest part of the entire experience. I waited for as long as I could possibly wait, and what I thought would have given my midwife, Cathy, and my husband enough sleep and finally decided at about 6:30 am that I needed to get into the birthing tub- the planned place of relaxation for my labor. My midwife met us at the center at about 7:45 am…and here is where it gets blurry! I immediately slipped into the warm tub of water and was relieved SO much by the water’s buoyancy and anti gravity effect. Ahhh. From then on out, I was in the water except for the few times to get out and walk around, its amazing how just changing positions helped me to dilate and labor progress.
During all of this, I was able to use the skills I learned in a Hypnobirthing class to cope with the new, shall we say, “sensations”, associated with labor. Chris was an amazing support for me, reminding me to relax, breath and telling me what a Wonder Woman I was. Cathy told us she was impressed because it was like she was just there to make sure nothing went wrong. It was Chris and I that were in the zone together and we worked through the time in labor as a team. Looking back, I realize how bored Chris and Cathy must have been. It was just the three of us there, me being the focal point. I was completely comatose and unaware of what was going on around me…completely aware of what was going on inside of me. It was like my baby and I were in a special spiritual meeting place gearing up for the big moment. Next time I will bring games or a book for the attending people! Before I knew it, I was declared complete and the intense urge to push came. I gently pushed for about an hour and our little baby girl was received by her daddy in the tub at 12:59 pm on my actual due date- Feb 26th. We had waited to find out the gender of our baby, so this moment was especially amazing, hearing Chris say, “Its a girl!” I seriously cannot imagine laboring again without the water. Wow. Gravity and I are not friends! I think there is a reason that I learned how to swim proficiently by the time I was three and have loved being in the water ever since. It is definitely my element! I’m pretty sure it is our little girl’s element as well! (She’s a Pisces!)
When our little girl came, Chris received her, pulled her up out of the water and immediately put her on my chest where we rubbed her purple body, cooed her and she was just as alert- her eyes were wide open and she just stared at us in awe…probably trying to figure out how to make those lungs work! It didn’t take long for her to take her first breath and Chris cut the cord about 10 minutes later. We ended up staying over night at Bella Natal so that I could recover a little longer. I was a little faint from loss of blood, and from such hard work. We just slept and bonded as a new little family for the first 5 hours. It was so good to just be in our own place together with little interruption. Family began visiting at about 6pm and our little girl did a good job at staying awake to say hello to them.
We really could not have asked or planned on a more perfect birthing experience. I feel so incredibly blessed to have had such a great support- my husband, a wonderful flexible midwife whom I will forever be loyal to, my loving family, and of course a loving Heavenly Father who was gracious in answering many prayers.
The following is the lesson that I pulled from my experience. It is very sacred to me:
*****
I don’t pride myself on having done much to grow my testimony of my Savior, Jesus Christ. It has not been easy for me to have the faith necessary to understand His sacrifice for me when he suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane and later died on the cross. I don’t fully understand, nor do I think I ever will until I bow at His feet in the days to come. But I do know this: Never in my life have I been closer to understanding the Atonement than when I paced the halls all night long in labor. Never have I been closer to getting a glimpse of the suffering our Savior endured than when I lay deep within myself floating in that birthing tub praying that it would be over with. Yet knowing that the only way out was through. I don’t think it is supposed to be easy for that very reason. Sacrificing myself for the sake of my child, is without a doubt, the most humbling, gut wrenching, and beautiful experience I could have asked for. And I am not talking about the “oh, I’m a martyr” kind of sacrifice. I don’t claim to have gone through quite like what Christ did when he suffered in the garden, but I think I have a better idea of what it must have been like for him. Think of the tears, the sweat, the blood and water- all of it. I feel like I have a better handle on the Atonement and what it means in my life now. And for that, I will ever be grateful. It was a wonderful gift to receive the strength needed to get my daughter here. It is an even greater gift to have the confirmation that it was the right choice for me, and ever will be. Christ knew he would have to die, so it seems he spent his entire life preparing for that one moment. So it was with me. I knew I would birth a certain way, and so I spent the entire pregnancy and more preparing for that moment.
All things denote that there is a god. I know He is real and would not have designed our bodies any other way. Our bodies were built to birth. And without the aid of external means, if we are given- or rather, if we TAKE the opportunity, along with our babies, Mothers are born.
Whatever your experience is, remember, it is YOURS. Own it. Love it. Above all, YOU’VE GOT THIS!
There are many things that occupy my mind throughout my busy days. And when I say busy, I mean scrambling around with my daughter trying to accomplish something other than singing Esty-bitsy Spider and changing diapers. From sun up to sun down, my mind is an endless box of chatter. Its been a task to learn how to shut it up at times, as my husband can attest to. Im convinced he has a game with himself when we are in the car; it is called “How long can I go without responding to Holly’s banter before she realizes she is talking to herself?” Its not a game I enjoy, but he seems get quite a kick out of it, so I’ll continue to humor him. Like most human beings, my mind is inundated with grand ideas, plans, goals, thoughts of how much better things will be tomorrow and who I will become with the passing days. Totally inundated. I have been making an effort to simplify my mind. There is too much rattling around in there for my life to make much sense these days.
How do I simplify my mind?
Breathe.
Get out of my mind and into my body, mentally.
Physically shake my head.
Laugh it off.
Breath again.
Create a paradigm shift.
Breathe.
That’s the main one. Its amazing how just one full swell of good clean oxygen can create such clarity and presence in our bodies. Simplify. Get Clear. It allows me to release all the nonsense that keeps my mind cloudy and scratchy inside. Scratchy minds are not healthy or safe to be around. So I breathe.
Them’s are suckin’ muscles
lil’ girl.
E’ery last drop
gone, gone, gone.
Until next time lil’ girl
You just won’t stop.
“Apparently I came across as being a pretty cool girl who had it together. Man oh man, if they only knew!”
Man oh man! If YOU only knew! We go through life thinking we know ourselves and thinking what a letdown it would be for others if they only knew who we were. Maybe others know us better than we know ourselves. Maybe sometimes we should learn about ourselves from them.
Just something to think about.
JKV
*********************************************************************************************************************
In response to the comment left by none other than JKV, I would like to say the following:
Being in high school was hard. Its fun, full of great memories of History class, sluffing and football games- but mostly what fills my head when I think of adolescent years is a whole big mess of emotional throw-up. And what others see on the outside is probably most accurate about really how you handle yourself, but that doesn’t seem to matter when what is going on inside of your head and heart is so difficult to figure out. I guess it just comes with being 16.
Drama is an important driver in a teenagers life. I makes you feel alive! Drama is what embosses the experiences in our minds as forever memories. But you know, maybe it is more than just ‘drama’. I was just thinking- well, lets see, I don’t know- maybe your parents are divorcing. Maybe you find out your mom is sleeping around. Maybe you accidentally go a little too far with a boy. Maybe your dad kills your mom in front of you. Maybe your mom goes off and joins a polygamist cult group. Maybe you go and get drunk one night. Maybe you think that staving yourself is the only way to have control in your over-controlled life. Maybe your dad dies of brain cancer. Maybe taking a razor blade to your skin is freedom to you. Maybe you’ve witnessed a beating in your home one too many times. Maybe you’ve picked up smoking. Maybe there is a heroin addict living in your house keeping you up at night with withdrawl symptoms.
Gosh, you know, it could be anything.
This so called ‘drama’ that people say is just adolescence is actually really there. And every teenager deals with these things differently. Some go off the deep-end and others band together to get through it all. I am happy to say that I don’t think I ever really went off the deep-end, although there were times I wanted to. I guess the fact that I deliberately decided not to go totally crazy means that I indeed did have it together. That is comforting. What I mean when I said that I didn’t have it together in HS is that I felt like I was doing everything possible in my own right to keep my game face on, yet it seemed everything around me- everything I didn’t have control over seemed to be falling apart right in front of me. And there was nothing I could do about it. I’m sure we all know the feeling.
This is why friends are so important. There were times when I felt totally alone in my emotional puke. And I was OK with it. But there was one day in particular when I was feeling desperately low and I didn’t feel like anyone around me even knew of my existence. I got a call from the office during school that I had received something. So I go to get it- and it is a bouquet of flowers. From who? Who would even notice me? I was very surprised to read the note attached. Inscribed in beautiful handwriting were these words:
“…peace be unto thy soul thine adversity shall be but a small moment…thy friends do stand by thee and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands” -Doctrine and Covenants 121:7,9
Signed: Melanie Goates, Amy Shuppy, Tahnie Moon, Tillary Stahr, Danielle Vernon and a few other popular cheerleader girls.
Up until that point, I had never considered some of these people my friends. Only nice acquaintances. The lesson learned here? That people DO notice me. They DO like me and they DO care. They do know me better than I think!
*So, Amy, when you say you were not a good friend at all, I have to beg to differ. You were often times my only friend at certain points. And although I may have rarely “cried on your shoulder” I knew that I could if I needed to. I was also strengthened knowing that I could be there for you.*
Im not sure where I am going with this post- only that I think JKV is right. We are indeed stronger than we give ourselves credit for. After all, we are our worst critics, right? And most of us turned out pretty darn good. Stable, contributing members of our society, raising beautiful children in righteousness, tell me -what is better than this?
Whether or not we ‘had it together’ during our adolescence years I don’t think matters anymore. We are who we are now because of what we learned then, and on the way to Now. Many people have come and gone throughout our journey to Now, and it is through them that we can indeed learn a lot about ourselves. I still hold firm to the truth that nobody knows me better than Me.
So now we are adults and we have different dragons to slay. And its a damn good thing we’ve got it together!
I recently came across a few of my high school year books and was reading through them, feeling nostalgic and such. I thought, hey, why dont I share all of these funny autographs with the blogger world. And since a few of you reading this blog went to high school with me, we can all enjoy the regurgitated words of old friendships. I won’t include ALL of them, becuase, well, I had to get a whole ‘nother yearbook to hold all the autographs- so that would make for a particularly long post. Ok, not really. I will just omit the lame-o ones where so and so tells me “you are cool, never change, have a great summer, C U next year” sort of crap. Besides, its already going to be a long post.
So in no particular order, here is what people thought about me and said to me at the end of my Junior year at South Summit High School. Fight on for SS High!
*****
Holly, its been fun having a locker by you. Thanks for being such a nice friend to me. Have fun!
-Your friend, Robby Brimhall
Holly, I can’t even explain how much I love you (in a different way…I love Ben [Lee] that other way) Tapestry is so much better with you in it. I hope you sit next to each other next year! I wish you were on drill team. -Liesel [Pederson]
Holly, next year we should become buds. You mand and Sandoval should party. Your bud, Ethan [Atkinson]
Holly- Well my bestest friend in the whole world!…Ahhh, we have both learned so many things this year! We are both so much more mature and better people. Hoefully thoughtout our lives we can stay friends. But until then, I will still bother you with my neverending problems that you dont want to hear. Well, I guess all else I could tell you is that I love you so much! I if were a lesbian, you would be my secret lover! (j/k) Well, anyway, (save the worms!) Love you/Myndy [Wadsworth] XOXO
Holly Be gentle with Sandoval. He is fragile. I think you are cool. -Your bud, Curtis Cox
Patrick Martin signed twice for some reason. Both are…interesting.
Holly, you are sooo sexy. I want to make mad-hot-wild-kinky sex to you. Call me and we’ll set up a date or we’ll just do something else. -Putt [Patrick Martin]
Holly, In order for us to further our friendship/relationship we must continue to talk, and do more activities together. I must also bring about the point of your astounding beauty and charm. The magnificence of your character is also very, how do you say, intriguing. And lastly, YOU ROCK! Love, Putt
Holly. Like I said before Holly Carb[orators] are the best and so are you. You are funny and you know what is up. Have you seen the Matrix? We are like the people who aren’t battaries. -Rhett [Phillips]
Holly You are not the girl I remember last year. I always thought you wanted to beat me up! But now I know that you are a doll! Tapestry was been cool! Sorry I thought that…Now I know better! Have a great summer and I’ll see ya next year my seniour Friend! Love Megz [Page?]
Holly, I will never forget the first time I worked with you at the pool! You told me how you wanted to pose for a pictrue. You always amaze me! You are a great friend and I will miss you wheI go to school! At least we will always have the pool! See you around! PS You’re awesome!-Jody Rydalch
Whoever waid we were related? 
If you want to get into the “western stuff” I’m the one that can help! GOod Luck! MaryLou Blazzard [my second cousin]
Ok. Here we go again. How are you? Whats up? Dont you thnk this yearbook signing thing is weird? Just think about it. You bought this expensive book for…for…$30.00 ($33.00 if you went to the Yearbook Dance) and you let all these peole write in your own personal book. Now correct me if I am wrong, but society is is weird. This whole think is just crazy! Who cares…ah, anyway…In 20 years you’ll read this (maybe). My dad hasn’t even looked at his and he is still living and breathing. My point is: It does not even matter what I write in this book, so I’ll just sign my name. JAMIE LAMBERT. There.
Hey Holly Have a cool summer, dont party too hard, call if desired. See ya on the blocks! Love, Conor Jensen
Dearest Holly- blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah -Love, Sandoval
Hey Hotty Girl. I love you. We should hang this summer so I can stay out of trouble. You are a good strong woman and I wish you well. Have fun and be wise. -Ian George
Holly! Hi cutie! I’ve loved getting to know you a little better this year. You are someone I serioulsy look up to. I value your opinion- you’re so honest, I love that! We MUST hang out this summer- I still cant tell if you really want to or not, but I do, so tough luck! Love your guts!! love/Tahnie [Moon]
Holly- Soccer was a blast! The tapestry trip was even funner I am so glad I got to know you this year. You are very awesome person. Never change for anybody! Sorry I never kept my “No Sugar Diet”! Love, Juli Walker
Holly, You are one of the coolest and unique people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. You are wonderful becuase you are a trail blazer and you are so individualistic. I hope we can hang this summer! Kurt Walker
Hholly if love was people, I’d be China. Love love love love love ya! Keep in Touch! -Mardee Goodwin
Part II: What I said about love and people and a certain Asian country was true. However, I’ve decided that I need to expand on that a little. Holly, how much have we been through together? Between good boyfriends, and bad boyfriends, sneaking out and tanning on your roof, riding on your Trail ‘90 everywhere- Those were the days! I cant think of anyone else I’ve ever had such fun with ! You opened my eyes to a lot of thing I couldn’t (or wouldn’t allow myself to) think upon on my own. What can I say? I hope hope hope you come to my graduation, I cannot think of a better graduation gift than to see you in the crowd as I walk through the gym of SSHS for the last time! -Forever, Mardee [Goodwin]
Holly, Holy crap can I say that you used to intimidate me SO f-ing bad! I can honestly say that I am so glad I got to know you this year! (I’m not just saying that to sound like a dumb blonde!) You made the cruz so fun- who can forget Mr. “Wild Thang” and all thse crazy drunk men in their mid-fourties! But hey, dancing was a blast! Good luck next year! -Hillary Smoot
Holly, You are the coolest! Lets ride horses some time!!!- Later. Nick [Bishop]
Holly my dear, I hope you know how much you mean to me! You have been my friend for such a very long time and I hope that we will remain friends for even longer! I have honestly learned probably more from you than almost all of my friends. I truely appreciate the honestyI have been able to share with you. Holly- I know you will have success in all you do. You have a persistance thatthat is unbeatable. It is, of course, hard at times, but never give in. Good luck in swimming next year. I’ll be at State. Come visit me in Provo, no matter how much you detest it! I love you! -Rachel Wagstaff
Holly. What do I say? How do I begin? My dearest “spurt” friend! I miss you between “Spurts”! You have no idea how much you have helped me this year. I will forever be gratful. Thank you for being there. Thanks for being strong even though all your friends have not had the confidence to be strong. Thanks for not hating me, even though I have so many quirks! You helped change my life even if you dont think so. I will always be in your debt and your friend, so if you ever need a shoulder…Lets do stuff all summer! I love your so much and I cant say thanks you enough. Have a great summer. Keep in touch! -Amy Shuppy
Holly, you are so awesome! You are one of those few people who doesn’t care about what anybody thinks of you, or you dont show it anyway. Hey, its been real! -Trevor Rezac
Holly- We’ve never been the best of friends, but I wish we were. I think you’re an awesome person and you always know how to express yourself! -Tillery Stahr
Dear All-wise Holly, Hey, I want you to know something. No, not that I am closed minded, but how cool it is that you are you. Most people, myself included, change overtime from trying to talk about their thoughts, to trying to be dumb and hide the person within so they are more accepted. You somehow have not done this and I do see it. Holly I wish you knew how I really was. Maybe you will one day. Maybe. – Jeffery Sargent
Holly. Thanks for being so cool to me and for being my friend even though you’ve told me a few things I didnt want to hear.Keep in touch with me. See ya around. Kendrick [Woolstenhulme]
Holly, you are the fuzziest kid alive! …You have such wit and sociality! Love ya -Lindsay Smoot
Holly I have always enjoyed having you in class. You really “think” about things and that is fun! -Brother Cottle
Holly- Hey babe! You totally rock! Seriously you are so cool and fun to baround, you have such an interesting personality. I mean that. It comes from the heart! Sorry that I walways worred about my hair when i was around you . I know you hated it. See you later. -Kensey [Roper]
Holly, hey girl. you’re really cool and unique. I like that a lot about you. And hey, there is nothing wrong with cheating…and thanks for not weirding out on me. Love, Palmer [Hagen] PS Tell Amy I LOVE HER!
Holly Holly, she’s so Jolly! You are the most unique girl I know. I really admire you for being you! I’ve had the funnest time in PSYCH with you. Have a great summer and get ready for next year! We’re gonna be SENIORS!!! See you around! -Megan [DeGering]
*****
Ok. So now I understand why I spent thost $30 on my yearbook. It feels good to remember who I was during the hardest part of my life. Apparently I came across as being a pretty cool girl who had it together. Man oh man, if they only knew! Well, either way, it feels good to reflect and remember all my friends and experiences of my high school career. I’d totally do it over again. Only this time, I’d be nicer to people, including myself.
Thanks guys, for leaving ‘forever’ words in my yearbook.
